The Queen of Asian Drama is Back with more Irreverent Reviews and Snarky Commentary.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Japanese Dichotomy & Some Mighty, Fine Booty

I've never been there, but I hope to go some day. I've met people from there, but I can't, exactly call them my friends. I've watched dozens of their movies & dramas, but what is the deal with no subtitles a majority of the time?

HOW many people live in Tokyo, and NO ONE makes a sound on the subway trains? That's just, plain freaky if you ask me. Oh, would I get kicked out of that country quicker than a flash! I mean, if what they claim is actually true, about massive throngs of drone-like suits moving in one direction at dawn, and then in the other at dusk ... HA! The ENDLESS possibilities for a rise. Light up a firecracker, stand perfectly still while facing the wrong direction, sing aloud while dancing, ... maybe SMILE at everyone and see if anyone bothers to return the favor?

It seems highly unlikely, from this author's humble viewpoint, that if I actually DID go to Japan, that I'd have a good time. The dichotomies that seem to abound in that part of the world are MIND boggling for someone on the outside, looking in, and that makes me uncomfortable.

Heck, I always thought that the former Prime Minister of that country, Junichiro Koizumi was awesome! I mean, he had the coolest head of hair on an old man that I've ever seen before, and he wasn't uptight, either; at least not like the typical, stern-faced bunch you see on the news and internet all the time.

Come to discover, he was actually hated and considered a national disgrace to his own people! Why, for heaven's sake?! Because he was different? SOCIAL? Because he actually possessed a sense of humor and the means with which to RELAX the derrière muscles?

The reasons for their lack of social intuitiveness escape me still and leaves me shaking my head, but I've moved on. So, they're a dour bunch of hapless souls, hell-bent on $$ or suicide. Could the reason for their low & steady population growth have something to do with this frigid mentality?

SOMEONE, PLEASE SAY NO!!

How am I expected to fantasize about guys like ITO HIDEAKI, Kenji Sakaguchi, Takashi Sorimachi, Toru Nakamura, Naohito Fujiki, Yoshiya Minami (is he gay, or do gay men just dig him?), and Hayami Mokomichi (the list goes on, and on, and on, folks...) if this is really true?!

I refuse to believe it could be true, that Japanese men DON'T LIKE to socialize, chit-chat, crack jokes, be romantic, HAVE SEX ...

"... Let's Drown Deep in US ... Hula, Hula, Baby ... "

Sorry ... but, I've got to think about something sexy while working on a topic as disturbing as this one.

I happen to think that Japanese men, including those in the film and modeling industries, are the hottest men (hotter than Koreans, even) on the frickin' PLANET! And, I'm not talking about the waifish, pedophilic delights that have inundated their music biz, either. REAL men, with rugged, good looks, something to caress in the bod department, and DEFINITELY something to gaze at with longing in the face department.

Hand's down, if you put a Japanese male actor up against a Korean one, the Japanese eye-candy would win every, single time. And, that's NOT to say that I don't, dig the Korean male, because it's simply, not true. I like ALL men, but I'm particularly fond of Asians. It's just that, we're talking about actors now, and I'm sorry, but ... even my IDOL, Kim Nam Jin (the guy I have steamy sex with in my dreams every night), would look like a metro sexual fruitcake standing beside a hunk like Toru Nakamura, yea? ALTHOUGH, I think that it'd be ab-FAB to have those two star in a drama together, as brothers maybe, or yin & yang partners of some sort.

Wrap your head around this and tell me if I'm wrong. You put Daniel Henney in a room with Kenji Sakaguchi, and you have them strip down to their tighty whities, ok? Now, have a group of white chicks in their mid-thirties to early forties file past them, and chances are, SOMEONE is gonna get hurt, right? BUT!!! Change it up now! After you have the cops escort the panting females out of the room, I want you to send in a lion from the local zoo.

See what I mean? I've got Henney squeezed into the highest, tightest corner of that room while Sakaguchi stands there with a steely gaze in his eyes, and a tight grin on his lips, just BEGGING the animal to make it's first move. There's simply, no comparison between the two species when it comes to real, appealing masculinity, if you ask me.

There IS one exception to the rule, though ... and his name is Song Il Gook.
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